transformation

I have decided to join a conspiracy and I am writing to ask some of you to join me. This is also a brief explanation of the work our small, new company is doing. We felt the explanation was important because of how many spaces we are involved in.

Market Niche? We Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Market Niche!
Hans Hageman & Associates has jumped into a few areas. We have a few websites, one podcast, and at least one more on the way. These are vehicles to examine seemingly disparate areas of life – health & fitness, dating & relationships, leadership, diversity, and small business development. We are responding to our observations, life experiences, and dozens of conversations with people engaged in moving through a new world. We are also discovering that there are natural connections amongst all these areas. We also happen to believe that we can do well by doing some good in all of these areas.

The Bystander Effect
It’s sometimes really tempting to be a bystander. Isn’t that the easiest way to avoid all the pain out there? Other people/the government/people with more means are the ones who can/should handle things. But then reality leaps at you. For me, it was listening to two friends around my age detail all their serious health problems. It was finding out that students at the high school I had founded had received the news (after being told a different story for months) that their school was being closed and that those who were not graduating were going to be thrown back into the shark tank. It was seeing the movie, “Race To Nowhere” and having my knowledge confirmed of the deadly pressure faced by upper middle class high school students. This pressure is combined with the lessons for success that these children learn – rote memorization, cheating, and a weakening of family ties in favor of test performance and ticket punching extra-curricular activities. It was reading about the lies being told to law students so that their law schools can continue the habits of greed shared by the parasites of the financial industry (http://nyti.ms/fVe2Z4).

What Next?
What can anyone do? I don’t know but what Bernadette, Yaromil, Francis and I have decided to do is to find ways to help others alleviate and prevent their suffering. In doing so, we hope to alleviate and prevent our own. We live in a world where “pain is mandatory” but our struggle is to prove that suffering can be made optional. My team and I have redefined our own definitions of “ambition.”. We intend to remain on guard against the hubris that has the “experts” believe that they have “figured it out.” We do not suffer from what Wallace Stevens called “a blessed rage for order.” Life is messy and disordered and there a few scaleable solutions. We know that we will have more success helping people achieve balance than moral perfection

We bring who we are to our personal and work relationships. We can try to create alternate personas (as so many are forced to do) but things leak through – either our enlightened sides or our shadow selves. It is important to be able to look into that pool of water and shout with pride and pleasure at the reflection, “This really is me!”

Our merry band works with people who need to examine the structure that has been created for their lives. I believe that we each have a true Self and that conditioning has prevented us from living as that true Self. Intelligence, accomplishment, material possessions all provide camouflage as we seek to escape what we should be living.

Join The Conspiracy
Oh, and that conspiracy…

I will continue to join with others who are not only part of the Long Defeat but who are also part of the conspiracy to uncover the perfection that exists in each of us as a gift from God.

So come visit us here on http://HansHageman.com or at http://yaromil.foursquare.com, http://BoomerRonin.com, or http://BrownstoneFitness.com

Unplugging
The past year has made for a wild ride.  I disconnected from the Matrix when I quit my job in December 2009.  This was a move away from a culture of deception and mediocrity.  It was also a move into a scary future that I hoped would allow me to live my values more fully while being of some service to a wider world.

As many people who have made this leap know, figuring out things like how to put food on the table, pay a mortgage, children’s tuition, health insurance (or not) – can take away from your entrepreneurial energy as well as put a strain on a marriage.

I’ve lost “friends” who, it seems, only defined me by my professional position and the social status that it temporarily conveyed. Stepping out of a lie allows you to breathe but those first breaths can be painful.

New Friends and Old Friends
I have been fortunate to have gone through several periods of “awakening” and this run at freedom is one of those times. I have been able to affirm the value of some people who have been close to me and learn from the fear and weakness of others who maybe once were. I’ve had a self-taught Masters-level education in online media and marketing, discovered inspiration in the blogosphere and rediscovered it in person. The education my children are receiving as Mommy and Daddy work from home has also been priceless. This run we’re making has as much to do with their future freedom as it does with their parents’ declaration of independence.

Social Media Muses
Some of the muses from the blogosphere who have kept me going are (in no particular order):

• Danielle Laporte of White Hot Truth; she is irreverent and motivational.  She provides an excellent model of how social media can be used to promote freedom, creativity and caring;
• Chris Brogan - he’s one of the gurus of social media and incites a lot of passion – most of it positive.  What I know is that his book “Trust Agents” was my first guide to this world and that this guy with thousands of followers took the time to answer my introductory “tweet.”
• Johnny B. Truant, one of the cool guys in the space.  He got my Boomer Ronin site up while answering my newbie concerns in an incredibly responsive, patient, and educational manner.  He also introduced us to a wonderful guy who redesigned the site for our girls school in India;
• Dave Navarro ,who puts out some of the best products I have found for people who are trying to figure out how to do business on the internet;
• Justin Lukasavige, whose podcast I listen to religiously.  He talks about coaching and does it with unabashed  enthusiasm.
• John Carlton – this guy is one of the giants in sales copywriting.  I have a couple of his products and I’m saving up to attend one of his live events.  If I have the discipline to follow his materials, I’ll be a lot better off a lot faster.  I will also follow his advice to teach my children the copywriting skills that will put them in a better position than some of the learnings they will receive in the “academy”;
• Lev Natan of The Empowerment Connection; we’ve only connected online but I really like what I see on his site and I look forward to a possible collaboration in 2011.

Offline Inspiration
Now for the people I interact with offline:

• Karen Best – My Princeton classmate and co-manger (and who carried me for 4 yrs.!) during my student job at Princeton; a courageous parent and entrepreneur;
• Ian Cameron – friends since we were 18.  Me from Harlem, him from Mt. Desert Island in Maine.  He’s a fly-fishing guide who does that Frank Sinatra  ”My Way” thing better than anyone I know;
• Carl Kissin – a classmate from Collegiate who I’ve recently reconnected with during his production of “Date of a Lifetime.”  You saw it coming more than three decades ago – he really is a comedy genius;
• Adam Walinsky – among other things, he worked with Bobby Kennedy and has done more than anyone in modern times to get police to do their work in a better way.  He is a major inspiration for me as I tilt at windmills.  I’m honored that he has brought me in to play some small role in re-creating the Baltimore Police Department under its visionary Commissioner;

Tony (“Dino”) – I knew him as a little boy and he’s grown into an incredible man. He’s a protector of society. For more than two decades he has been one of those who stands between us and the wolves. As if that were not enough, he has been forced to “speak truth to power” in another bureaucracy that eats its best;

• Yaromil Olivares -go read her excellent post today at Boomer Ronin. She too decided that being surrounded by  dishonesty, fecklessness, and lassitude was too high a price to pay for an impressive title and paycheck.  Her courage is only matched by her sense of purpose and her creativity.  We’re going to do great things together in our business. She is also a Creativity Coach who you should check out for your individual growth;
• Bernadette Hageman -my wife – the person who shapes my craziness into something productive.  She runs the house, takes care of our disparate band of children, runs the foundation that supports dozens of girls in India in their education and and their lives, handles the administrative duties for my growing “empire,” renovates the space for our new personal training facility, provides more value to my sister as her friend than I do to my sister as a brother, finds time to provide motherly advice to a number of “Millenials” and she still finds the time to love me even though she didn’t exactly sign on for this current tour of duty.

So, “Thank You” to my new social media friends and much love to all the people above and others, who let me know that this tribe is possible and necessary.

For people new to this blog and for those returning who haven’t already done so, subscribe using the blue and white form down and to the right or with the cool “Pop-up.” We’re pretty smart, we care, and we always like making new friends.

Attitude Is Everything
How do you have a successful relationship? Love, forbearance, kindness – these are the things that you will need to move you beyond the everyday madness.

Playing Well With Others
My recent experience with people I helped, trusted, and got screwed by, have made me a bit of a recluse. I’m prepared to jump back into the pool but I intend to be even more scrupulous than Diogenes. I do this not out of regard for my feelings but out of concern for the work that is left for me to do. Some of what follows is “do as I say” but the past year has provided me with the closest I have gotten to a “mountaintop experience.” I choose to believe that this has also provide me with some wisdom but you be the judge.

If we can’t get along with some people, we should find a way to leave them alone. What others do is their concern.  If they fail to maintain this harmony then they will receive the results of their mistakes.  We should keep in mind, though, that if we are able to maintain the integrity of our own minds and hearts (something that I have not always been successful doing), then we set an example and model for others to follow because love and goodness are contagious. 

It’s Not What Happens To You…
It’s how you feel/think about what happens to you.

The quality of thought we send out to people is usually returned to us in the same way – whether these thoughts are positive or negative. What others do is their concern.  If they fail to maintain this harmony then they will receive the results of their mistakes.   No matter what the object of our attention, our attitude towards it reacts back upon us. 

God and Nature
Make a friend of Nature, be a friend of humanity, be a friend of God.  When you assume this normal attitude toward all things you are moving with the current.  When you desire to make friends with all of Nature, humanity, and God, you will discover that any feelings of fear will begin to dissolve. Aim to always preserve your mental state by remaining in harmony with this inner model of love, wisdom, and strength.  Let all your concepts be in line with it, and when you come upon something that feels alien to it, exclude it from your consciousness.  Put a guard at the door of the mind and examine every thought that tries to gain entry.  Decide if it is in accord with the good government of the mind, or antagonistic to it, in which case, slam the door in its face.  If this vigorous inspection is done regularly, there will come a time when these thoughts no longer seek to enter.  On the other hand, the more often you let them in, the more trouble they will make and they more difficult they will be to remove. It’s your choice. Take responsibility.

What Happened To The Village?
They say that “It takes a village to raise a child.” The village for most children in this country, is nothing but a ghost town. It doesn’t matter where you fall on the economic spectrum – as a child, you are better off finding your own Lord of the Flies island and bringing the Crazy Glue for the conch shell. You’re either “Waiting For Superman” to put you on a glitzier conveyor belt to serfdom or you’re “Racing to Nowhere” because you are the progeny of the wealthy elite who tend to eat their young (after my education at Collegiate School, Princeton, and contact with board members from Boys and Girls Harbor, I AM The Spook Who Sat By The Door regarding my knowledge on this).

Those of us who care at all about the school system, can succumb to the bystander effect. A lot of people are looking at the problem, so someone is sure to step in with a solution.  Why won’t anyone let the kids in on the joke that is their future?

Why Can’t I Keep A Job?
I pride myself on not being a bystander. Some would say I’m no better than the Good Samaritan who administers mouth-to-mouth when a Heimlich is called for but what the hell… I’m a man of action if nothing else. This is one reason why I have moved into the area of “personal development” as part of my professional portfolio. I went through a period where I lost “friends” when I stopped practicing law to enter the field of education. I have now lost more “friends” after abandoning my prestigious leadership position at a dysfunctional nonprofit. In both instances, my initial reaction was that people were somehow embarrassed by my change in status. Now that I have more clarity, I see that the discomfort these people suffer is because of the choices they have made with their lives.

My reading choices are eclectic and range from nutrition and sports performance to economics and biography. My guilty pleasure is the action/adventure genre. I’m currently reading a novel from Lee Child’s Jack Reacher series. I’m about halfway through. Reacher is trying to get to the bottom of a suicide that he witnessed that has left him with questions. As a result of his inquiries, Reacher (a former military policeman and occasional government operative) has been apprehended by what appear to be agents from some Federal agency. He is shot with a tranquilizer gun and placed in a cell in an abandoned firehouse. When he wakes up, he sees two local police officers involved in the case, also locked up. Reacher is able to overpower his jailers and when he sets about freeing the other two, he is stopped by their concern that if they escape from these anonymous inquisitors, they might be confirming their “guilt.” Reacher points out to them that they are guilty of nothing and that relying on their jailer’s benevolence is a fool’s game.

I realize that many people are okay behind their prison walls as long as one of their kind does not attempt to escape. Reminding people of the possibility of freedom is provocative.

Personal Development
When I talk with young people – my own children or other people’s – I tell them about this personal development thing. There are a lot of other professionals who will instruct them on the transactional nature of their formal education. The stuff I talk about has to do with getting rid of limiting beliefs, how to create well-formed outcomes (aka “goal-setting), managing stress and their emotions, discovering their muse, discerning and establishing their values and acting in accord with them, developing habits of courage and action, and the importance of developing their moral imagination. Whether it’s an audience of a single teenager, or a group of veteran Baltimore police officers, I believe it is my job to convince them that these things are survival skills for this new time we find ourselves in.

The Power of One
What next? Learn more about:

• Growing Power
• Transition Communities
• Exuberant Animal
• Edmund Burke on Moral Imagination
• Ralph Waldo Emerson
• Frederick Douglass
• Essays by Wendell Berry
• Community by Peter Block
• our Personal Development workshop

It’s part of the Long Defeat.  Are you in?

Energy Flow
It is the persistent habits of thought which mold the brain. Consciousness is a flowing stream. The mind constantly generates thought-energy. Much of the energy goes to waste. Much is misdirected and causes harm. It is only common sense to harness and direct this thought-energy. This is the first step in self-help. Your mind is your own; you are liberating this energy and yet you have been wasting and misdirecting it for years to your own harm. Now you must take control and make this energy serve your purpose.

The Machine and Moral Imagination
Gravity, electricity, and nuclear energy were all unharnessed at one point. Once we had discovered certain fundamental laws of motion, mechanics, electromagnetism, and an understanding of the elements, we were able to put these forces in our service.
Just as a machine must be planned in accord and with reference to the laws of motion and mechanics if it is going to be able to use the energy supplied to it, so must we plan and control our thought-energy with reference to fundamental laws of Thought if we are to use that energy to advantage. If a machine is not properly constructed or placed, not only will it not do its work, but it will eventually damage its own internal structure. This is the same thing that happens with a wrongly directed mind – it won’t work the way we need it to and this will have an effect on our nervous system. There is a normal way of thinking and a normal way of responding to the things that present themselves in our environment. Some of these things we remain ignorant of and some things are well known to us. In our day-to-day relations, we have a fairly good idea of how to conduct ourselves and we generally (except in war and certain business situations) follow the blueprint. For the most part, we act like the social creatures we are. This way of being is so seemingly natural for us that we miss sight of how subtly we balance these relations. Our thoughts of people count for or against our peace of mind as well. We may fool other people , but we are not as good at fooling ourselves and we never deceive our brains. We can pretend all we like but throughout, our real motives are molding our brains and establishing neural pathways that are quite at odds with our pretensions. The “normal” attitude to our fellow humans should be one of love, kindness, and forbearance – forbearance, because if we understood the conditions that have made them what they are, we would no longer be so inclined to judge.