society

There is no official post today because of the holiday. I’ll be doing one tomorrow on nonprofit leadership (I think!).

Because this weekend is a ceIebration of our independence, I did want to say “thank you” to all the people who defend our freedom. In particular, THANKS to my two former students, Michael Rivera and Anthony Howell, both serving in the USMC. These two young men joined the Corps as teenagers so that they could grow and serve. Thank you also to Lt. Col. Ridenhour, currently deployed to Afghanistan. I am also proud of the fact that they allow me to call them “friend.”

I have worked with too many “men without chests” (C.S. Lewis) so it’s good to know that there are those capable and willing to do the work that liberty requires.

“We sleep safely at night because rough men stand ready to visit violence on those who would harm us.”
— Winston S. Churchill

It’s also worth checking out his 2006 TED talk.

Albert Einstein said: “We can’t solve problems at the same level of consciousness at which we created them.” Yet this is exactly what we do in our efforts at educational reform. There continue to be dueling reports about whether charter schools work any better for underprivileged kids than the regular school system. From what I can tell, this is only a discussion about the best form of palliative care.

I go back and forth on why we do what we do with our children and their education. Is it a desire for social and economic control by our oligarchs? Is it greed? Is it a lack of imagination? A combination, or something else entirely?

This affects us all and I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Desire and Suffering
So I’m sitting here trying to evolve and flitting across my consciousness was the phrase: “Desire is the root of all suffering.” I’m not sure why it came up, but it’s something I had always believed was one of the Four Noble Truths of Buddhism and probably a generally good prescription for the things that ail us as Americans and as humans. This time, as I thought about it, something didn’t seem to feel right.

Happiness
Too many of us seek reward and recognition from sources outside ourselves and we all eventually find out, as Arjuna did, that we are not entitled to the fruits of our labors-only to our labors. As we undertake our labors and fight the “Long Defeat,” it doesn’t mean that we should no longer continue to seek our bliss or to undertake Joyce’s (and Joseph Campbell’s) “Hero’s Journey.” In fact, I believe that never embarking on this journey or leaving the path is the source of most suffering in the people I run across. We need to do what we are called to do with no thought of reward. Our desire for self-importance becomes a trap.

Desire vs. Craving
I’m not comfortable (or perhaps not evolved enough) to believe that if I was able to eliminate all my desires that I would be in a better place. Our desires not only direct our basic survival but they help us to create as well. I choose to believe that the world is a better place because some people had the desire to create freedom, justice, and artistic beauty.

I think Buddha and the Bible are referring to craving. Excessive aversion or excessive attachment can screw up a lot of things. So can the substitution of hope for action. Our desires create a spiral that requires a constant attention to our material and emotional happiness – to the exclusion of our mission. This keeps us from getting the real work done. We will never have all the facts so we just need to focus on our daily acts on the way. If you want to know what’s required, Micah 6:8 says we are to: “Act justly, and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.”

If that’s too much, then if you’re somewhere between “I’m on top of the world!” and “I guess things could always be worse”, you’re probably okay.

The denigration of females? Tasteless language wrapped up in bad grammar? Just some more misogynist rap? Not exactly. This was part of a “game” played by teen boys at the elite, all-male Landon private school in Maryland. They played a game mimicking a fantasy sports draft that involved the ranking of local girls in terms of sexual desirability. The goal was to have sex parties with points given for sexual conquests. Landon’s group of “young gentlemen” have had a problematic recent history that can be glimpsed in the story link above.

These were no knights of honor. These boys were raised in a school culture that begins in 3rd grade. Who are their fathers? What did their non-participating classmates have to say? Their intent was to prey on local girls. I read one news story that took the view that “boys will be boys” and that they were just a little immature and foolish to publish this stuff in an age of omnipresent Internet scrutiny.

It seems to me that this was more likely a story of familial narcissism and entitlement. It was a perversion of the daring, competitiveness, and energy that are a part of healthy male energy. How does this happen? Sports performance coaches talk about “sensitive periods” in athletic development for young people. This has to do with the pace of development of a young person’s particular motor abilities (e.g. balance, endurance, speed, strength).

These sensitive periods are also present in the emotional development of adolescent males. Fathers and other responsible adult males are supposed to help induct these young men into the masculine fraternity. In my perfect world, young men would be a combination of William Wallace (you know, Braveheart) and Gandhi. If boys this age aren’t guided through the minefield of puberty, they will end up locked into a cage of greed, materialism, selfishness, sexism, and aggression. Money and status often provide more of an impetus towards these things than an inoculation against them.

My wife and I have our own set of instructions and parenting process for our daughters should they come across young piglets from whatever race or class. That may be the topic of another post.

I was watching “City of Joy” with my 9 year-old son the day after I read about these Landon boys. This a movie about a victimized Dalit community in India and an American doctor (played by Patrick Swayze) trying to find himself. I explained to my son his role and path to becoming a modern day knight. I explained that it would require mental, spiritual, and physical skills and toughness. I told him that I expect him to ALWAYS be the first to stand up to bullies. Some may find my view of man as protector and knight as sexist in its own way but I do not apologize for this. I have also made it clear to my girls that they should rely on themselves for their personal safety.

Bottom line, there are shepherds, sheepdogs, and wolves. Maybe boys will be boys but we shouldn’t ignore the bad fruit that will be harvested if we don’t pay more attention.

Check out the whole movie when you can. Pam Slim, Michael Port, Justin Lukasavige, Chris Brogan, Janet Atkinson, John Carlton, and Hans Hageman & Associates, are some great places to start if you need or want to investigate the employment side of life as a masterless Samurai -- the Ronin. There is no better time.