mind

The Challenges Ahead
My process for determining the voice for this blog is ongoing. I feel like that mosquito in the nudist colony – I know what to do; I’m just not sure where to start. In the past several days, news stories and studies (see Pew Trust) have come out about the clouds of regret and depression that hover over my fellow Baby Boomers. When we nervously look for renewal and hope from those younger than us, we are confronted by films like Race to Nowhere and news that students in college are suffering from mental health issues in shocking numbers.

The Talk
When I write here, I have tried to put past bitterness to the side and share lessons learned, in the hope that they may be of value to someone. I’ve done some things and been some places that might help provide some people perspective on their travels. The need for this perspective was brought home to me during a conversation with a young man worried about where the world is headed. He said…

“I’m worried about taking on the challenges of the 21st century.” This very general concern might annoy me in other contexts, however…

since this was my 9 year-old son, I put on my best listening skills as he continued…

“When you and Mommy are dead, I’m not sure how I’m going to know what to do about those challenges” (Ask someone who knows him. They’ll tell you it sounds like him). I didn’t have a lot of great advice at that moment but I was able to refrain from a lecture about Bentham’s Utilitarianism versus Pareto efficency and we instead discussed some of the qualities that I thought he needed to cultivate. We talked about things like courage, friendship, service, freedom, and responsibility.

I’m glad that he’s in a wonderful school that has allowed him to develop his natural gifts. It’s one of those places that understands that knowing the name of something doesn’t equal knowledge. Unfortunately,it only runs through 8th grade – well, there’s always homeschooling!

The Curriculum
My goal and desire for him is that he continues with his fascination for the natural world, continues to develop his physical skills to navigate through it, develops the physical and moral courage to confront the bullies who will inevitably invade his journey if he’s ding it the right way, learn sales (after all, so much of the life we live is transactional), and follows the “Heinlein curriculum” – “A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.”

I want him to grow strong and I also want him to grow gently. I also want him to develop the practice of seeking and practicing good habits. Whether you’re 9 or 79, developing the right habits can help you grow into who you are supposed to be. The spiritual journey does not mean from “here” to “there.” The knowledge and enlightenment that we seek are no further from us than is the voice of God. We don’t need more names, knowledge, or skills – we only need access to the wisdom that we have always had. To begin or strengthen the process of unlearning, we need to develop good habits. And so I present…

Good Habits
When you have formed a good habit, not only will it become necessary to you, but the corresponding bad habit will no longer hold any appeal and will die a natural death. A new set of neural paths is thus formed while the old paths are gradually obliterated. Neuroscience says that forming a new, better habit is much more effective than trying to eliminate a bad habit. Good habits are like a group of lieutenants or executive assistants, working for us by relieving us of the need for conscious attention to an excess of details. Compare the efforts of a child learning to walk, or of a man learning to swim or ride a bicycle with a young child running through a playground or the expert swimmer or cyclist and you have a good example of what habit can accomplish. Our conscious mental processes — in the area of right-thinking – are often as ineffective as the efforts of the child learning to walk or the adult learning to swim or ride a bicycle.

Suppose we were forced to make the same effort in breathing that we do in any voluntary action, how laborious it would be. In the same way, controlled thinking is an effort at first, but stay with it long enough and it becomes a habit and almost automatic. When you make your habits your friend, you make your nervous system an ally. Just like bike riding or walking cease to be conscious processes, an expert thinker comes in time to balance his mind and control it in accordance with the laws of right-thinking. Little or no conscious attention is required for the body or for mental processes.

With most of us, wrong-thinking is habitual and automatic. When right-thinking becomes automatic and as unconscious as breathing, we shall have become truly our own friends. The heart beats and the lungs are inflated without conscious effort and those muscles are never tired, whereas voluntary action of the muscles soon fatigues. Athletes who persist too long in the development of any set of muscles become physically unbalanced. Too much conscious direction of thought produces a sort of mental paralysis – we become unbalanced mentally.

Reflection AND Action
Reflection must eventually find an outlet in action. It must find expression because of that intimate association of thought and the nervous system. If it does not, we become self-hypnotized by watching our own mental processes. Mere affirmations are not enough. One who goes no further than affirmations is like a would-be bicyclist who devotes the majority of her energy to affirming that she can ride, without ever getting on a bicycle to give his thought an outlet in action. Endeavor to give concrete expression to the truths you hold in mind, for only then do they come to life.

Kindness, consideration, cheerfulness, self- control may all become habits. They should in fact be designated as normal habits of a first-class mentality – the normal inheritance of the spiritually well-born. They are acquired, sometimes painfully and with much effort. Gradually, like the expert cyclist for whom bicycling has become a habit, we are relieved from conscious effort. We are balanced and able to enjoy the “scenery.”

When we find ourselves thinking thoughts of an undesirable nature, we must put the brakes on, stop the current of thoughts, and turn on to another road. If we have developed an alternate map of the territory and are clear about the values that inform our journey, we will be okay. Putting on the brakes and changing the path is where the Will comes in – the topic for a future post. Until then, remember that it’s easier to cultivate good habits than it is to try to bury bad ones. It’s also never too late to begin the process of growing gently.

P.S. If you find this of interest, sign up (in the box on the right, or wait for the fancy Pop-up) for my gentle emails on moving through the crap.

Whose Trance?
One of my recurring themes is that we are all in trance. Television, movies, music, unfair criticism, and social media, all play a role in the type and depth of our trance. We need to become self-hypnotists and continually work on the “suggestions” we give ourselves as we practice this trance. Keep the mind pure, free, and tranquil, let it be dominated by love and truth and the body will apparently take care of itself.

It’s All About Me
Another danger in our fast-moving, narcissistic society is the extreme self-centeredness that affects people across all generations. This fascination with self is always a precursor of mental and physical disharmony. People who end up in this sad state are like people who stick their fingers in their own eyes and then complain about the irritation. This is the negative type of self-hypnosis caused by the barrage of messages of entitlement and greed. The best way to leave this trance is to immerse ourselves in the joys and sorrows of others – to do good. When we take an active interest in helping someone else we are on the path to becoming our own best friends.

Habit
Like our physiology, our habits are inextricably bound with our nervous system. Just as we create trails by continually taking the same path through the woods, we also establish neural paths by fixed modes of thinking. Our feet seem to gravitate naturally to the old trails we hike. To create a new path seems to take too much effort. Neural paths have the same effect on the stream of consciousness of our everyday lives – it flows through the path of least resistance. The beaten path suggests to us that we follow it whereas taking a different route might never occur to us at all.

The foods we eat, the clothes we wear, the hand we brush our teeth with, how we control our thoughts, are all a matter of habit. Even if we drink or smoke – stop either for long enough and the taste for these things disappears. Whatever we do often, we incline to do more; whatever we desist from, we have, as time goes on, less and less inclination for. We have no better friends than good habits and no greater foes than our bad habits.

Bad Habits
When it comes to bad habits, the best way to overcome them is to starve out the roots that have been planted (by us or others) in our minds. Acquire the habit of ignoring them until they die for lack of recognition. Meanwhile, supplant the false idea with a true one by persistent cultivation. While this is easier said than done, it is a far easier method than the usual one of fighting against the false idea through willpower. In this area, when we fight, we are met with greater resistance. Correcting bad habits is more like a judo match than a boxing match.

The idea of non-resistance in this connection is good strategy and good psychology. Things have that power over us that we give them; they have no power in themselves. Their importance to us depends upon the attention we give them in our own consciousness. Do not fight with your disempowering habits; learn to ignore them by concentrating the attention on something more positive. To fight is to give them greater importance in consciousness and thus to increase their seeming power. Instead, minimize that power while asserting your superior self and cultivating true friends to take the place of false ones. Seek the angels and you don’t have to worry about the devils; but understand that you must cultivate the angels with all the persistence and devotion you once gave to the devils.

In the new year, we will be providing some free teleseminars and webinars that will teach specific skills to develop habits of excellence. Let me know if you’re interested in joining us.

Kind of a Preamble
Like it does for many people, the end of the year serves as my helper in organizing  my thoughts and providing me with feedback.  I would not have traded this last year for anything.  My wife and I have had to make tough decisions on this road to self employment.  I have at times felt irresponsible in giving up a well-paying job and benefits to live in accord with my values.  We have had to put a lot of things on hold for ourselves and our children because of our changed economic circumstances.  

Our current life represents more than a desire to wave our “freak flags.”  We know from conversations on this blog and from trainings and workshops we conduct, that there are a whole lot of people with an unrequited entrepreneurial spirit; creative people forced to smother their gifts because of economic exigencies; people in pain whose suffering seems endless – we believe that we have a lot to offer these people.  We also know that an inheritance of “guts” to step out and live like Ronin in furtherance of service, creativity, and decency will be more important to our children than any estate they might be tempted to squander after we’re gone.

Tim Berry may be right – at this point we may be unemployable.  So Bernadette, Yaromil (our partner in crime), and I will take deep breaths and keep aggressively moving forward into 2011.  Recent past and future posts are part of a toolbox that have helped me and I hope will help others anytime the “fear monster” sticks its head around the corner. Pogo and FDR were right. So, with that in mind…

Separation
Too many of us let the Mind move aimlessly.  Every thought of fear, or of selfishness – however they may be dressed up – separates us from our consciousness of God, the absolute Truth. With each separation we are weakened, for God is the one Source of life and strength. But every true concept, every thought of love, draws us nearer to God by bringing love and truth into consciousness and thus strengthens and fortifies us. Check out “The Three Principles” by Sydney Banks for more on the connection between Mind, Thought, and Consciousness. True personal development should result in more connection rather than a feeling of being special, evolved, or enlightened.

In an earlier post I wrote about relationships. This post is about getting getting in closer relationship with ourselves.  What we are seeking here is the increased practice of right-thinking in all areas of life so that normal reactions in the mind and body will be encouraged and unfavorable reactions inhibited.

Body and Mind
Unlike other animals, our nervous system is under the supervision of a thinking brain. Whether this is a benefit or a disadvantage is determined by the quality of our thoughts. A temporary mood such as anger or fear produces a temporary physical change caused by the stress of a particular. If these become our habitual states, the physiological changes become permanent and they are negative. The body has no life apart from the mind and our internal state will become outwardly manifest.
Just like a piano wire that becomes distorted by a constantly hammered note, our nerves become distorted and worn out by the constant hammering of fear and anxiety. We can see this in individuals and we can see this in societies where the majority of people are living in a mix of despair and constant media stimulation. Instead of relaxation and emotional state management most of us in this country are raised on cycles of over-stimulation and a resulting depression.

Wake Up and See The Enemy
The chief enemy of the nervous system is misdirected, uncontrolled thought. No matter what the usefulness of a particular mental state , it is followed by physiological reactions of some sort. This can start out as relatively inconspicuous changes in breathing, circulation, and general muscular tension. Check yourself out now – are you holding your breath? Are the muscles in your neck and upper back, loose or relaxed? Too many of us carry this residual tension around. Our bodies reflect our thoughts and the cycle gets continued through the continued communication we have with ourselves as the result of the physical tension.  We develop a harmful feedback loop.  What we want is a “feed-forward” system that creates the environment for growth.

An Experiment
As a brief experiment, come up with a memory or thought that has slightly sad emotional content. Hunch your shoulders, lower your gaze, and make your breathing shallower. The feeling of sadness will get stronger. Now, stand up, shake your body out and bring up a neutral thought (pink elephants are usually safe) to break that sad emotional state. Bring the thought back but this time direct your gaze towards the ceiling, breathe deeply from the diaphragm, and bring a smile to your face. It will be impossible to get that sad feeling back. Your mind and your body will reproduce whatever cycle you train it to reproduce.

Learn to act “as if” you have whatever resourceful qualities are required by the particular context.  This is a first step to developing a strong self concept.  Align this self concept with your values and your on your way to health and growth.

I would love to hear about anyone else who’s jumped ship in this economy to follow their moral or creative muse.

Attitude Is Everything
How do you have a successful relationship? Love, forbearance, kindness – these are the things that you will need to move you beyond the everyday madness.

Playing Well With Others
My recent experience with people I helped, trusted, and got screwed by, have made me a bit of a recluse. I’m prepared to jump back into the pool but I intend to be even more scrupulous than Diogenes. I do this not out of regard for my feelings but out of concern for the work that is left for me to do. Some of what follows is “do as I say” but the past year has provided me with the closest I have gotten to a “mountaintop experience.” I choose to believe that this has also provide me with some wisdom but you be the judge.

If we can’t get along with some people, we should find a way to leave them alone. What others do is their concern.  If they fail to maintain this harmony then they will receive the results of their mistakes.  We should keep in mind, though, that if we are able to maintain the integrity of our own minds and hearts (something that I have not always been successful doing), then we set an example and model for others to follow because love and goodness are contagious. 

It’s Not What Happens To You…
It’s how you feel/think about what happens to you.

The quality of thought we send out to people is usually returned to us in the same way – whether these thoughts are positive or negative. What others do is their concern.  If they fail to maintain this harmony then they will receive the results of their mistakes.   No matter what the object of our attention, our attitude towards it reacts back upon us. 

God and Nature
Make a friend of Nature, be a friend of humanity, be a friend of God.  When you assume this normal attitude toward all things you are moving with the current.  When you desire to make friends with all of Nature, humanity, and God, you will discover that any feelings of fear will begin to dissolve. Aim to always preserve your mental state by remaining in harmony with this inner model of love, wisdom, and strength.  Let all your concepts be in line with it, and when you come upon something that feels alien to it, exclude it from your consciousness.  Put a guard at the door of the mind and examine every thought that tries to gain entry.  Decide if it is in accord with the good government of the mind, or antagonistic to it, in which case, slam the door in its face.  If this vigorous inspection is done regularly, there will come a time when these thoughts no longer seek to enter.  On the other hand, the more often you let them in, the more trouble they will make and they more difficult they will be to remove. It’s your choice. Take responsibility.

Here is something from the field of energy psychology.  I have gained a lot of tools in the past 20 years that have helped me to help myself and others.  This may look strange but give it a try.  You can use it in a lot of situations.  It provides an elegant solution.  There are some who will remain too skeptical to even give this a try.  That’s okay.  I can also provide referrals to very expensive therapists who would love to establish a multi-year relationship!

Any questions? Get in touch!