Is This Really All There Is?

Reflection and Action for Leadership

Category: leadership

High School Football and Men

My adventure now includes a role as a volunteer high school football coach. In fact, my posts haven’t been as regular as I’d like because of the “two-a-days” being conducted at the high school’s field in the Bronx. This post is not going to be profound. In writing it I get to be a little wistful, a little amazed, and a lot frustrated by the experience.

Each time I show up to the school, I enter into an unapologetic man’s world. It’s one of sweat, profanity, chewing tobacco, childish humor, and talk of the glory days long past. My own football glory days were limited as my high school had only enough personnel to field a team for two of my high school years. With the recent revelations about the brain injuries that football can cause, I now believe that my truncated career was a blessing. But I now get to engage in mature reflections about the game and at the same time improve my cognitive function by learning its intricacies.

I’m working as the strength coach and assistant running back coach at one of the largest high schools in New York City. Their four-year graduation rate is under 30%. Despite the challenges, a group of 45 young men show up in the summer for ten hours of daily character-building. In between sprints, pushups, and blocking schemes they are directed to pull up their pants, eliminate the use of the “N word,” to support each other, and to “finish strong.” These tough teenagers look you in the eyes, thank brand new coaches for their advice, and begin to figure out that they should have a cause bigger than themselves.

They don’t know, that despite this work ethic they are developing, that their life choices are being unfairly limited by people they have never met and by circumstances that they had no hand in creating.

This coming weekend is football camp in upstate New York. I’m taking my 9 year-old son with with me but it still means time away from family, close living conditions with the other coaches who are not in touch with their feminine side in the same way that I am (and who also happen to be strong, engaging male figures for these boys), and time away from the marketing that is critical for my fledgling leadership coaching business. However, there are men to build – 45 African-American, Dominican, West Indian, Puerto Rican, and Russian teens who deserve to get a little traction on the path to the people they deserve to become and who are fighting against incredible odds. Stay tuned.

No Comments by Hans Hageman on August 23, 2010

filed in boys, coaching, courage, education, high school, leadership, school, sports, teenagers

tagged character, football, high school, lessons, men

Value – What’s Yours?

This post is short and (hopefully) sweet – á la Seth Godin. I’ve talked about “values” in the past. This one is about VALUE. Perhaps it’s the ravages of middle age but I am losing my interest in potential. Talk to me about what value you bring NOW. In fact, someone may not have the entry level skills for a retail job, much less the ability to survive TEOTWAWKI (go ahead, look it up!). If you have the desire to be of value to your community, then you are the kind of person I want to be around.

When someone wants to be of value, they are seekers – they have to be curious. Integrity is more important to them than having the opportunity to show their cleverness. They work to be a part of the community. All I know is that when I’m done, and to paraphrase Albert Einstein, I would “rather be a man of value than a man of success.”

No Comments by Hans Hageman on August 8, 2010

filed in ethics and morality, leadership, living, motivation, service

tagged community, talent, value, worth

Team Building – Roll Your Own

This post provides elaboration for two more points from an earlier piece for new nonprofit leaders.

4. Develop your network before the big job so that you can bring in your own team.
5. Get a guarantee that you can bring in your own team.

The Honeymoon

When you begin your new nonprofit job, you will almost definitely enjoy a “honeymoon period” with the existing staff. These are the same people you met when you were interviewing. If they knew you are a finalist for the job they almost certainly put on their most charming faces at that time. Now, many will be prepared to put their heads down and continue to do their jobs. Others will try to figure out the best way to curry favor with the new Boss. The trick for you will be to determine who is who. If these people were in leadership positions with the old regime, this calculation becomes critical to your survival.

Your Team

The safest method of leadership team building in this situation is to bring in your own people. I should point out that there is one exception to this. If there is someone in the organization who seems to be a natural enemy - for instance, someone who had been an internal candidate for the job that is now yours – if you retain them and promote they can become one of your most valuable allies. People you might regard as friends can too often become jealous of your success. They are also in a better position to hurt you because of inside information from the friendship.

Bring in people who can fill in the gaps in your skill set. Make sure you bring in someone who can complement your role in a “Good Cop, Bad Cop” routine. Make sure as you move through your career that you have the kind of network that you can call on to create your team. This means you should always look for opportunities to mentor others. Do favors for people whenever possible. Develop a reputation as a “connector.” Evaluate people during periods of pressure and in settings that require teamwork. How do they handle their alcohol? In Vino Veritas!

Care and Feeding

When you have the personnel, provide timely feedback, give the group opportunities to act together as a team. No matter how often you get stabbed in the back, continue to believe in the Law of Reciprocity. Help your people realize their dreams. Understand their values.

If you run into someone on a Habitat for Humanity project, who’s been competing in judo and rugby since they were kids, and who can handle their own at the karaoke bar you two have been to a couple of times, you may be looking at your future COO.

Be nice until it’s time to not be nice (Road House), stay humble, don’t let anyone get too close, do a regular values audit, push hard for the right thing, and never become too attached to the results.

Have you built a leadership team or inherited one? How did it go?

No Comments by Hans Hageman on August 5, 2010

filed in leadership, nonprofits, organizations

tagged leaders, nonprofit, team building

Founders Club – Better A Member Than An Employee

This is point #3 in Nonprofit Leadership.

I am a member of the Founders Club. I’ve started three schools and I’m proud of the changes I was able to make in people’s lives. In two instances I made the decision to leave rather than gain Pyrrhic victories in a battle of egos. I’m not sure I would have wanted to work for me. I was so mission-focused that the touchy-feely stuff some adults seemed to need from me just wasn’t there. That was me. There are a host of reasons you should run screaming from a job offer to replace any founder who intends to remain active in the organization they started.

Ralph Waldo Emerson said “Every institution is the lengthened shadow of one man.” That can become a good thing or a bad thing. I have experienced both with founders I have encountered. One thing I do know is that I will never work for/with another founder and I would not recommend it for anyone who is looking to make a difference in their nonprofit work. If you are bold enough to venture forth anyway, get a contract and factor in some sort of additional compensation into your contract for the pain you will inevitably experience.

The qualities that were responsible for launching the founder’s vision can often end up being the same qualities for which the founder eventually becomes despised. A pioneering spirit turns into ego-centrism and dictatorial decision-making. The board of directors is often ineffective in this kind of a setting. When new board members, not under the thrall of the founder, try to make changes, the scene is set for a terminal battle. The only hope at this point is probably an organizational coach with the skills of King Solomon.

If you end up working for one of these people, know that a lot of your time will involve as much ego-stroking as client work.

No Comments by Hans Hageman on August 3, 2010

filed in coaching, happiness, leadership, nonprofits

tagged coaching, founders, leadership, nonprofit

Ingratitude and Leadership

This is point #2 of my post about Nonprofit Leadership. It has to do with ingratitude and its mainly male practitioners.

Men Without Chests (see C.S. Lewis)
In the Bhagavad Gita, Arjuna is told “you are not entitled to the fruits of your labor, only to your labor.” This is something that has become something of a mantra for me in my professional life. With regard to men, I first thought the ingratitude thing was jealousy over comparative testosterone/intelligence combinations. After all, how do you explain the guys I brought in – who had been unable to find employment elsewhere – who I promoted, mentored, and who then engaged in almost Biblical acts of betrayal. These were something more than mere character flaws. I know, I know – I have to take my own hit for having a defective slime meter. But how did this environment get created? Then I found out…

it may in fact be an evolutionary imperative!

Women On Top
An article in this month’s Atlantic by Hanna Rosin states that men may be obsolete in the postindustrial economy. She talks about qualities like emotional intelligence, communication skills, and focus being things that men struggle to exhibit while most women seem to be naturals. Will men fade away in terms of economic relevance?

Well, it’s not comfortable for me as a guy to embrace this but I am not going to put up much of an argument. I have worked with too many tough, smart, creative women. I would also add loyalty to the list of traits that women seem to have in contrast to the “office warriors with the beer balls” that I have come across. There are notable exceptions in places like the military but in the zero sum game of business, you may not want your “wing man” to be a man.

Gratitude and God

I’ve had some time to reflect on my agitation around the snakes that entered my world. When I think of gratitude, I think of the X Files and the tag line, “We are not alone.” For me, gratitude represents an acknowledgment of our need to help one another. It represents an awareness of the gifts God has provided us though nature. Philosophers like Immanuel Kant and David Hume understood that gratitude goes way beyond etiquette. Some observers have gone so far as to equate ingratitude with sin. When you stand on the other side of gratitude you rebel against humility, you take our gift of freedom for granted, you spit in the face of community, and you stand in league with the greed, self-centeredness, and sense of entitlement that is ruining this country.

A good start would be for the ingrates among us to slow down, and show gratitude for the good things in their own lives. Take that step and it may be possible for these people to recognize that we are, in fact, not alone – and that’s a pretty wonderful thing.

No Comments by Hans Hageman on July 22, 2010

filed in courage, ethics and morality, leadership

Nonprofit Leadership – Love and Fear

Just a few notes:

I left integrity out of my list of qualities that I mention in the video -- it belongs at or near the top.

Once you get clear about your moral boundaries and the things you are willing to fight for -- DON’T SHARE THEM!. Your enemies and your putative allies/friends will attempt to use this against you to gain your position and presumed power.

You probably won’t find yourself in a debate about different moral codes or concerned about moral relativism. It will more likely be your code on one side and the absence of any code on the other. Hopefully, that will make your Rubicon clearer.

Finally -- yes, I do know what a “fill light” is and I promise to do better next time( I choose not to blame this on my 9 year-old camera man).

In the words of Emile Zola, whatever you do, “Live your life out loud!”

No Comments by Hans Hageman on July 13, 2010

filed in courage, ethics and morality, leadership, nonprofits

tagged fear, love, nonprofit leadership, reflection, values

Nonprofit Leadership Challenges

This post contains a few of my reflections on nonprofit leadership challenges. My caveat is that while these are mostly general observations, they are mainly flavored by my experiences. In setting down these observations, I hope to provide offense only to those who deserve it – i.e. the Quislings and sycophants who, along with their feckless masters, took advantage of my evolved consciousness You know who you are!!

The best audience for this piece is people who are thinking of moving into nonprofit leadership or who have been on the job for a short time. Two really good books on the topic are “Leadership on the Line” and “The Leadership Challenge” (not affiliate links). Some of these observations are unique to my experience. They will be the subject of a book on my nonprofit adventures and the interesting characters who populated them. I tried to start this out as a Top Ten list but more and more reflections intruded, so here goes:

1. Decide what kind of leader you are going to be before you start.
2. Expect ingratitude – from my experience, ingratitude is mainly a male trait.
3. Do not join an organization where the founder is still active – unless you are prepared to be merely a spokesperson.
4. Develop your network before the big job so that you can bring in your own team.
5. Get a guarantee that you can bring in your own team.
6. If you are Latino or African-American and board members start telling you how articulate you are, start looking for another job.
7. Get a contract.
8. Avoid working for a board that has a majority of members with too much time on their hands – or too many lawyers.
9. Provide well-structured feedback immediately – whether it is positive or not.
10. Hire for loyalty, passion, intelligence, courage, and sense of humor.
11. Don’t let sympathy get in the way of getting rid of the “dead wood” as soon as you can.

In future posts I’ll provide more details, insight, and cautionary tales. If you’re doing it, or thinking about doing it and want to get in touch for sympathy, to rant, or feedback, please contact me. For those of you in the nonprofit trenches, I’d love to hear your additions to my list.

No Comments by Hans Hageman on July 6, 2010

filed in ethics and morality, leadership, nonprofits

tagged challenges, leadership, nonprofit