Is This Really All There Is?

Reflection and Action for Leadership

Category: ethics and morality

Value – What’s Yours?

cereal value

This post is short and (hopefully) sweet –  á la Seth Godin. I’ve talked about “values” in the past.  This one is about VALUE.  Perhaps it’s the ravages of middle age but I am losing my interest in potential.  Talk to me about what value you bring NOW.  In fact, someone may not have the entry level skills for a retail job, much less the ability to survive TEOTWAWKI (go ahead, look it up!).  If you have the desire to be of value to your community, then you are the kind of person I want to be around.

When someone wants to be of value, they are seekers – they have to be curious.  Integrity is more important to them than having the opportunity to show their cleverness.  They work to be a  part of the community. All I know is that when I’m done, and to paraphrase Albert Einstein, I would “rather be a man of value than a man of success.”

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No Comments by Hans Hageman on August 8, 2010
filed in ethics and morality, leadership, living, motivation, service
tagged community, talent, value, worth

How Does It End?

light in the tunnel
You’ve put in a few decades doing whatever it is you do. How does it end? I was prompted to think about this after a longtime friend came by for dinner. We’ve known each other for close to 35 years. We talked about the paths we’ve been on and the paths we see ourselves taking in the near future. We also reminisced about people we know in common.

Retirement
Our dinner guest is pushing hard. She’s one of the women I talked about in my last post who’s always shown me qualities that were missing in many of my male professional counterparts. She got her Ivy League degree but knew that nothing was promised. She’s hasn’t had it easy but she’s embraced “free agency” and works to improve the lives of those around her.

I was taken aback to hear that friends we went to school with are getting ready to head for retirement and quieter climes in the next year. I was shocked to hear recently that the nephew of a friend had put in his twenty years and was retiring in a year or two and was opening a restaurant/bar.
Maybe what happened to me is…

What’s Next
that I share the view of people like Peter Ragnar who believe that a lot of the aging process is mental. I’ve also taken positions that haven’t provided decent retirement benefits as one of their perks – so temptation is less. My ADD also does not lend itself to a hammock. I am also from the Helen Keller school of thought that says ” security does not exist in Nature. Life is either a daring adventure or it’s nothing.” This is part of the manifesto shared by me and my fellow Ronin.

God does not promise security in this life. The author Philip Yancey points out that we don’t get to know God and then do his will – we get to know God by doing his will. Like my parents, I choose to “wear out rather than rust out.” It took me a while, but I realize that my wife’s complaints about our path are mainly pro forma. In many ways she pushes harder than I do. She does this in the face of the paradoxes that come with being a good Christian. The more you do, the more is demanded and gratitude be damned.

The reasons for staying on or stepping off may be the result of evolution, genetics, or something else. Some of us are built a different way. Some deal with the difficulty of the now – they live how they believe Christ lived, and they accept that God will determine the value of all these efforts at some point in the distant future. You are not alone. I respect and admire those who have decided that their race has been run. But there are those of us who are not content with where we are and what we’ve done and we will keep moving. The Talmud, the Bhagavad Gita, and the Bible all recognize that we cannot possibly finish the work set before us – but we will not be excused for not taking it up.

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No Comments by Hans Hageman on July 26, 2010
filed in Christian, belief, ethics and morality, living, over 50
tagged career, faith, life, meaning, purpose, retirement

Ingratitude and Leadership

ingratitude
This is point #2 of my post about Nonprofit Leadership. It has to do with ingratitude and its mainly male practitioners.

Men Without Chests (see C.S. Lewis)
In the Bhagavad Gita, Arjuna is told “you are not entitled to the fruits of your labor, only to your labor.” This is something that has become something of a mantra for me in my professional life. With regard to men, I first thought the ingratitude thing was jealousy over comparative testosterone/intelligence combinations. After all, how do you explain the guys I brought in – who had been unable to find employment elsewhere – who I promoted, mentored, and who then engaged in almost Biblical acts of betrayal. These were something more than mere character flaws. I know, I know – I have to take my own hit for having a defective slime meter. But how did this environment get created? Then I found out…

it may in fact be an evolutionary imperative!

Women On Top
An article in this month’s Atlantic by Hanna Rosin states that men may be obsolete in the postindustrial economy. She talks about qualities like emotional intelligence, communication skills, and focus being things that men struggle to exhibit while most women seem to be naturals. Will men fade away in terms of economic relevance?

Well, it’s not comfortable for me as a guy to embrace this but I am not going to put up much of an argument. I have worked with too many tough, smart, creative women. I would also add loyalty to the list of traits that women seem to have in contrast to the “office warriors with the beer balls” that I have come across. There are notable exceptions in places like the military but in the zero sum game of business, you may not want your “wing man” to be a man.

Gratitude and God

I’ve had some time to reflect on my agitation around the snakes that entered my world. When I think of gratitude, I think of the X Files and the tag line, “We are not alone.” For me, gratitude represents an acknowledgment of our need to help one another. It represents an awareness of the gifts God has provided us though nature. Philosophers like Immanuel Kant and David Hume understood that gratitude goes way beyond etiquette. Some observers have gone so far as to equate ingratitude with sin. When you stand on the other side of gratitude you rebel against humility, you take our gift of freedom for granted, you spit in the face of community, and you stand in league with the greed, self-centeredness, and sense of entitlement that is ruining this country.

A good start would be for the ingrates among us to slow down, and show gratitude for the good things in their own lives. Take that step and it may be possible for these people to recognize that we are, in fact, not alone – and that’s a pretty wonderful thing.

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No Comments by Hans Hageman on July 22, 2010
filed in courage, ethics and morality, leadership

Nonprofit Leadership – Love and Fear


Just a few notes:

I left integrity out of my list of qualities that I mention in the video -- it belongs at or near the top.

Once you get clear about your moral boundaries and the things you are willing to fight for -- DON’T SHARE THEM!. Your enemies and your putative allies/friends will attempt to use this against you to gain your position and presumed power.

You probably won’t find yourself in a debate about different moral codes or concerned about moral relativism. It will more likely be your code on one side and the absence of any code on the other. Hopefully, that will make your Rubicon clearer.

Finally -- yes, I do know what a “fill light” is and I promise to do better next time( I choose not to blame this on my 9 year-old camera man).

In the words of Emile Zola, whatever you do, “Live your life out loud!”

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No Comments by Hans Hageman on July 13, 2010
filed in courage, ethics and morality, leadership, nonprofits
tagged fear, love, nonprofit leadership, reflection, values

Nonprofit Leadership Challenges

leaders - Napoleon

This post contains a few of my reflections on nonprofit leadership challenges. My caveat is that while these are mostly general observations, they are mainly flavored by my experiences. In setting down these observations, I hope to provide offense only to those who deserve it – i.e. the Quislings and sycophants who, along with their feckless masters, took advantage of my evolved consciousness ;-) You know who you are!!

The best audience for this piece is people who are thinking of moving into nonprofit leadership or who have been on the job for a short time. Two really good books on the topic are “Leadership on the Line” and “The Leadership Challenge” (not affiliate links).  Some of these observations are unique to my experience. They will be the subject of a book on my nonprofit adventures and the interesting characters who populated them. I tried to start this out as a Top Ten list but more and more reflections intruded, so here goes:

1. Decide what kind of leader you are going to be before you start.
2. Expect ingratitude – from my experience, ingratitude is mainly a male trait.
3. Do not join an organization where the founder is still active – unless you are prepared to be merely a spokesperson.
4. Develop your network before the big job so that you can bring in your own team.
5. Get a guarantee that you can bring in your own team.
6. If you are Latino or African-American and board members start telling you how articulate you are, start looking for another job.
7. Get a contract.
8. Avoid working for a board that has a majority of members with too much time on their hands – or too many lawyers.
9. Provide well-structured feedback immediately – whether it is positive or not.
10. Hire for loyalty, passion, intelligence, courage, and sense of humor.
11. Don’t let sympathy get in the way of getting rid of the “dead wood” as soon as you can.

In future posts I’ll provide more details, insight, and cautionary tales.  If you’re doing it, or thinking about doing it and want to get in touch for sympathy, to rant, or feedback, please contact me.  For those of you in the nonprofit trenches, I’d love to hear your additions to my list.

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No Comments by Hans Hageman on July 6, 2010
filed in ethics and morality, leadership, nonprofits
tagged challenges, leadership, nonprofit

Independence Is Not About Hot Dogs

independence
There is no official post today because of the holiday. I’ll be doing one tomorrow on nonprofit leadership (I think!).

Because this weekend is a ceIebration of our independence, I did want to say “thank you” to all the people who defend our freedom. In particular, THANKS to my two former students, Michael Rivera and Anthony Howell, both serving in the USMC. These two young men joined the Corps as teenagers so that they could grow and serve. Thank you also to Lt. Col. Ridenhour, currently deployed to Afghanistan. I am also proud of the fact that they allow me to call them “friend.”

I have worked with too many “men without chests” (C.S. Lewis) so it’s good to know that there are those capable and willing to do the work that liberty requires.

“We sleep safely at night because rough men stand ready to visit violence on those who would harm us.”
— Winston S. Churchill

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No Comments by Hans Hageman on July 5, 2010
filed in belief, courage, education, ethics and morality, history, service, society
tagged independence, liberty, Marines

Is Suffering Optional?

suffering bastards

Desire and Suffering
So I’m sitting here trying to evolve and flitting across my consciousness was the phrase: “Desire is the root of all suffering.” I’m not sure why it came up, but it’s something I had always believed was one of the Four Noble Truths of Buddhism and probably a generally good prescription for the things that ail us as Americans and as humans. This time, as I thought about it, something didn’t seem to feel right.

Happiness
Too many of us seek reward and recognition from sources outside ourselves and we all eventually find out, as Arjuna did, that we are not entitled to the fruits of our labors-only to our labors. As we undertake our labors and fight the “Long Defeat,” it doesn’t mean that we should no longer continue to seek our bliss or to undertake Joyce’s (and Joseph Campbell’s) “Hero’s Journey.” In fact, I believe that never embarking on this journey or leaving the path is the source of most suffering in the people I run across. We need to do what we are called to do with no thought of reward. Our desire for self-importance becomes a trap.

Desire vs. Craving
I’m not comfortable (or perhaps not evolved enough) to believe that if I was able to eliminate all my desires that I would be in a better place. Our desires not only direct our basic survival but they help us to create as well. I choose to believe that the world is a better place because some people had the desire to create freedom, justice, and artistic beauty.

I think Buddha and the Bible are referring to craving. Excessive aversion or excessive attachment can screw up a lot of things. So can the substitution of hope for action. Our desires create a spiral that requires a constant attention to our material and emotional happiness – to the exclusion of our mission. This keeps us from getting the real work done. We will never have all the facts so we just need to focus on our daily acts on the way. If you want to know what’s required, Micah 6:8 says we are to: “Act justly, and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.”

If that’s too much, then if you’re somewhere between “I’m on top of the world!” and “I guess things could always be worse”, you’re probably okay.

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No Comments by Hans Hageman on June 24, 2010
filed in balance, belief, energy, ethics and morality, living, society

Knights of Honor

modern knight

The denigration of females? Tasteless language wrapped up in bad grammar? Just some more misogynist rap? Not exactly. This was part of a “game” played by teen boys at the elite, all-male Landon private school in Maryland. They played a game mimicking a fantasy sports draft that involved the ranking of local girls in terms of sexual desirability. The goal was to have sex parties with points given for sexual conquests. Landon’s group of “young gentlemen” have had a problematic recent history that can be glimpsed in the story link above.

These were no knights of honor. These boys were raised in a school culture that begins in 3rd grade. Who are their fathers? What did their non-participating classmates have to say? Their intent was to prey on local girls. I read one news story that took the view that “boys will be boys” and that they were just a little immature and foolish to publish this stuff in an age of omnipresent Internet scrutiny.

It seems to me that this was more likely a story of familial narcissism and entitlement. It was a perversion of the daring, competitiveness, and energy that are a part of healthy male energy. How does this happen? Sports performance coaches talk about “sensitive periods” in athletic development for young people. This has to do with the pace of development of a young person’s particular motor abilities (e.g. balance, endurance, speed, strength).

These sensitive periods are also present in the emotional development of adolescent males. Fathers and other responsible adult males are supposed to help induct these young men into the masculine fraternity. In my perfect world, young men would be a combination of William Wallace (you know, Braveheart) and Gandhi. If boys this age aren’t guided through the minefield of puberty, they will end up locked into a cage of greed, materialism, selfishness, sexism, and aggression. Money and status often provide more of an impetus towards these things than an inoculation against them.

My wife and I have our own set of instructions and parenting process for our daughters should they come across young piglets from whatever race or class. That may be the topic of another post.

I was watching “City of Joy” with my 9 year-old son the day after I read about these Landon boys. This a movie about a victimized Dalit community in India and an American doctor (played by Patrick Swayze) trying to find himself. I explained to my son his role and path to becoming a modern day knight. I explained that it would require mental, spiritual, and physical skills and toughness. I told him that I expect him to ALWAYS be the first to stand up to bullies. Some may find my view of man as protector and knight as sexist in its own way but I do not apologize for this. I have also made it clear to my girls that they should rely on themselves for their personal safety.

Bottom line, there are shepherds, sheepdogs, and wolves. Maybe boys will be boys but we shouldn’t ignore the bad fruit that will be harvested if we don’t pay more attention.

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No Comments by Hans Hageman on June 13, 2010
filed in boys, bullies, education, ethics and morality, men education, private school, society, teenagers

Move or Die

This post was going to be in the form of a video but that will come later in the week. My wife is nervous that people who have seen my videos believe that I have lost my mind. I pointed out two things to her. The first is that most of the readers of this blog have never met me, so you will assume that whatever you see here is just who I am. The second thing I pointed out is that my insanity has always been part of my charm. This post is about our reluctance to embrace change and the mysterious.

Our attachment to the Age of Reason has moved us away from our essential nature. For men, that has meant the loss of the Warrior Spirit. For all of us it has meant a counterintuitive loss of sophistication and complexity. If we ignore the connections among Mind, Body, and Spirit, then we become only stick people. When life’s problems do not fall before our reasoned approaches, we are all of a sudden at a loss and unable to move forward.

The field of psychoneuroimmunology is pointing to the consequences when there is a disconnect between the mind and body. Reason has its place but it’s also about doing and nurturing, reflection and action. Too many of us stop short on Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs and have no idea that moving towards self-actualization and a belief in something larger than ourselves will prevent our descent into lives of “quiet desperation.”

Learn how to really breathe, make your workouts (if you even workout!) more complex and sophisticated, understand what it means to truly love, give up your scientific humanism for the miraculous, and find your True North.

Well, after this, my wife may be wishing for the video :-)

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No Comments by Hans Hageman on February 14, 2010
filed in Christian, balance, education, ethics and morality, living, society, work/life

How much is too much for art?

Ludwigsburg Palace, Germany

I was one of those kids who convinced themselves during their early school days that they were not talented in the fine arts. I have spent much of the recent past trying to undo this damage. Betty Edwards and her book, “Drawing On The Right Side Of The Brain” helped a lot but I’ve got a long way to go. I hope people won’t regard it as bragging when I say that I WAS a triple threat in the dramatic arts. This has made for a complex relationship to the world of art.

One thing I am clear about is that a market economy is supposed to direct its resources to their most productive use. The British economist, Lionel Robbins, said “Economics is the study of the use of scarce resources which have alternative uses.” Which is why I’m confused as to how the City of New York, through the Department of Cultural Affairs was able to take the $10 million renovation/facelift for El Museo del Barrio and turn it into a $45 million project.

Among the reasons I care is because the program I worked for, Boys & Girls Harbor, is housed in that building. At a time when all sorts of services to children and the poor were being cut , this project proceeded apace. Additionally, as part of some agreement, the minority children served by this program were apparently to be relegated to using a side entrance. I was one of the few people to raise hell about this obvious and symbolic message.

I kind of get it. The property is on Fifth Avenue, there aren’t that many opportunities for politicians to attend ribbon cuttings in this economy, and I’m sure the budget process wouldn’t have allowed the additional $35 million to be used for something like schools, literacy programs, food pantries, etc. I just wonder why there weren’t more people watching, asking questions, and as confused as I am about this Nation’s priorities. You know, scarce resources, alternative and most productive uses?

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No Comments by Hans Hageman on January 11, 2010
filed in balance, ethics and morality, living, politics, society
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