Is This Really All There Is?

Reflection and Action for Leadership

Category: education

High School Football and Men

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high school football

My adventure now includes a role as a volunteer high school football coach.  In fact, my posts haven’t been as regular as I’d like because of the “two-a-days” being conducted at the high school’s field in the Bronx.  This post is not going to be profound.  In writing it I get to be a little wistful, a little amazed, and a lot frustrated by the experience.

Each time I show up to the school, I enter into an unapologetic man’s world.  It’s one of sweat, profanity, chewing tobacco, childish humor, and talk of the glory days long past.  My own football glory days were limited as my high school had only enough personnel to field a team for two of my high school years.  With the recent revelations about the brain injuries that football can cause, I now believe that my truncated career was a blessing.  But I now get to engage in mature reflections about the game and at the same time improve my cognitive function by learning its intricacies.

I’m working as the strength coach and assistant running back coach at one of the largest high schools in New York City.  Their four-year graduation rate is under 30%.  Despite the challenges, a group of 45 young men show up in the summer for ten hours of daily character-building.  In between sprints, pushups, and blocking schemes they are directed to pull up their pants, eliminate the use of the “N word,” to support each other, and to “finish strong.”  These tough teenagers look you in the eyes, thank brand new coaches for their advice, and begin to figure out that they should have a cause bigger than themselves.

They don’t know, that despite this work ethic they are developing, that their life choices are being unfairly limited by people they have never met and by circumstances that they had no hand in creating.

This coming weekend is football camp in upstate New York.  I’m taking my 9 year-old son with with me but it still means time away from family, close living conditions with the other coaches who are not in touch with their feminine side in the same way that I am (and who also happen to be strong, engaging male figures for these boys), and time away from the marketing that is critical for my fledgling leadership coaching business.  However, there are men to build – 45 African-American, Dominican, West Indian, Puerto Rican, and Russian teens who deserve to get a little traction on the path to the people they deserve to become and who are fighting against incredible odds.  Stay tuned.

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No Comments by Hans Hageman on August 23, 2010
filed in boys, coaching, courage, education, high school, leadership, school, sports, teenagers
tagged character, football, high school, lessons, men

Schools Need A New Idea – Start All Over Again!

test answer
The recent New York Times story about a remarkable drop in  test scores (after being recalibrated by New York State), should give us immediate pause and force a reassessment of claims about what really works in public education.  Many people are  scrambling to explain away what happened.  Some are even complaining that “the goalposts were moved.”   Some of the shining lights of the charter school movement are at a loss and can only say: “we just have to try harder.”  Try harder at what?!  Teaching to the test?  Teaching even more skills to improve performance on standardized tests?  I would like to suggest the crazy notion that the ladder is against the wrong wall.  Unfortunately, for too many people, this will have a short news cycle and it will become business as usual.

Abdication of Responsibility

I’ve said it before:  the game is rigged.  The idea of a meritocracy in education is laughable.  We’ve seen during our recent series of financial woes that qualities like integrity, hard work and sound morals have no significant correlation to economic success at the very top.  IQ cannot be proven to directly influence economic outcomes.

The merit myth also applies to education.  One thing that may be “post -racial” about this country is the extent to which the lives of poor, working, and middle class – Black or White – are all dictated by the needs of an oligarchy determined to maintain its power and privilege.   This plays out starkly in the field of education.  I have too much experience with elite private schools to believe that it’s about hard work, good character, and intelligence. I’ve been in too many meetings with wealthy supporters of charter schools to believe that they would subject their own children to the same education model they believe in so strongly for poor children.

Taking It Back

Education is a gatekeeper but not the type that anyone interested in fairness or American ideals should allow.  Educational attainment is primarily a reflection of family income.  This has to change if this country is too have a significant, viable  future.  Here are a few things that those of us interested in fairness and the future of the Republic should do:

  • Read anything by John Taylor Gatto.
  • Do your own research on best practices in literacy.
  • Learn more about the history of education models like Montessori and Reggio Emilia
  • Skip the vacation to the Hamptons and attend an event sponsored by the Appleseed Project.
  • Attend a meetup of the local homeschooling association.
  • Join a charter school board.
  • Help kids get involved in Junior Achievement, Civil Air Patrol, and 4-H Clubs.
  • Teach your children to play and win the “Inner Game.”
  • Don’t blindly accept “expert” definitions of “measurable success.”
  • Teach your children that competition doesn’t always have to be a zero sum game – it can also be about cooperation where you and your opponent bring out the best in each other.
  • Learn the difference between end goals (which we don’t have total control over) and process goals (which we can control).

Knowing the truth about inheritance, family income, and luck should give those at the top some pause, greater humility, and a desire to do better by those less fortunate.  In the meantime, we have to get tougher, smarter, and more strategic about doing it for ourselves.

Do you have any models of schools that work for everyone?

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2 Comments by Hans Hageman on August 1, 2010
filed in education, public education, school, school choice, society

The Power of Belief

friendly universe
“Cogito ergo sum” – I think, therefore I am. I have been hoping that there is a related principle that applies to the art of writing. Something like, “I write, therefore I am a writer.” Even if it is not true, I will continue to act as if it is. I combine this with Emerson’s advice on writing that “when you run out of arrows, throw your body at it.”

Today I’m throwing my body at a short post on the Universe.

Albert Einstein felt that the fundamental question facing all of us is: “Is the Universe a friendly place?” We each get the chance to answer this for ourselves. What if you decided just for today that it was? Would you be a rebel in this Universe? Would your belief about your capabilities or responsibilities change?

What kind of Universe do you currently live in? If we take better control of our beliefs and imagination, we can make sure the trance we’re in is one of our own making.

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2 Comments by Hans Hageman on July 24, 2010
filed in belief, education, living, society
tagged belief, imagination, Universe, writing

The Nonprofit Marketing Guide – A Book Review

This is a book review of The Nonprofit Marketing Guide by Kivi Leroux Miller. If you are a decision maker at a nonprofit -- particularly a small one -- this is the only guide you’ll need. You should also check out Ms. Miller’s website..

I have been able to get something useful from all the other books in this space that I have read but I could’ve saved a bunch of money if I had waited for this book.

P.S. I think I got the lighting right this time. I just wish that microphone cord didn’t look like it was going to disrobe me!
P.P.S. -- I’m going to continue the “11 Tips” for nonprofit leaders with a post later this week.

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2 Comments by Hans Hageman on July 19, 2010
filed in education, leadership, marketing, nonprofits, social media
tagged marketing, nonprofit, social media

Independence Is Not About Hot Dogs

independence
There is no official post today because of the holiday. I’ll be doing one tomorrow on nonprofit leadership (I think!).

Because this weekend is a ceIebration of our independence, I did want to say “thank you” to all the people who defend our freedom. In particular, THANKS to my two former students, Michael Rivera and Anthony Howell, both serving in the USMC. These two young men joined the Corps as teenagers so that they could grow and serve. Thank you also to Lt. Col. Ridenhour, currently deployed to Afghanistan. I am also proud of the fact that they allow me to call them “friend.”

I have worked with too many “men without chests” (C.S. Lewis) so it’s good to know that there are those capable and willing to do the work that liberty requires.

“We sleep safely at night because rough men stand ready to visit violence on those who would harm us.”
— Winston S. Churchill

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No Comments by Hans Hageman on July 5, 2010
filed in belief, courage, education, ethics and morality, history, service, society
tagged independence, liberty, Marines

Great Schools or Just Retooled Factories?

It’s also worth checking out his 2006 TED talk.

Albert Einstein said: “We can’t solve problems at the same level of consciousness at which we created them.” Yet this is exactly what we do in our efforts at educational reform. There continue to be dueling reports about whether charter schools work any better for underprivileged kids than the regular school system. From what I can tell, this is only a discussion about the best form of palliative care.

I go back and forth on why we do what we do with our children and their education. Is it a desire for social and economic control by our oligarchs? Is it greed? Is it a lack of imagination? A combination, or something else entirely?

This affects us all and I’d love to hear your thoughts.

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No Comments by Hans Hageman on July 2, 2010
filed in balance, education, history, liberal arts, living, politics, private school, public education, school, school choice, society
tagged children, education, future, school choice, school reform, students

Reiki Energy Healing And Growing Up

pranic healing
I’m back on the path! Reiki energy healing was a part of my life in the mdi-90′s. I had parents with health problems and students who were living with holes in their souls. Reiki, hypnosis, biofeedback, and NLP were some of my stops along the way. My intuition, stress level, communication skills, and health all improved as I undertook this journey. I studied under some good people – Rachel Hott and Stephen Leeds, John LaValle, and William Lee Rand, among others.

Reiki
“Reiki” means “universal” or “spiritual” energy. Kanji is made up of ideographs and pictographs so it’s difficult to come up with an exact translation. The founder, Mikao Usui, did not use the term “Reiki” but this is the name that has come to describe this system of healing. I studied under William Lee Rand and became a Reiki master in 1997. It was cool for me to go back and check on this lineage

As the son of a Methodist minister, I had to ask myself whether I was delving into the dark side with my studies? Part of this question was answered by the peace that I was able to bring to my family and students with my practice. I was honored to be part of an Episcopal church, headed by Father Robert Castle, that invited me to the altar on Sundays to provide Reiki healing.

Christianity
For me, Reiki has meant a closer connection to God – a way to relieve suffering, express compassion, and to be more Christ-like. I spoke to Christians who were concerned or skeptical. They were unable to answer my questions about “Gifts of the Spirit” and Paul’s guidance in Corinthians. If you are called to practice the gift of healing do you ignore the Jesus of John 14:12 who says: “I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing.”

The Lesson
I have stated it in other posts and been attacked for it in other contexts but…I am my parents’ child and I am a child of God. Healing is part of my path. I hope to pass this on. I ‘d love to hear about your path to healing and your thoughts on ways we can create a healing community. I’m not ashamed to say that I’m growing up.

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1 Comment by Hans Hageman on June 28, 2010
filed in belief, education, energy, health, life fitness, living

What We Believe Makes All The Difference

acupuncture

What we believe – the things we know are true - influences the quality of our lives. This post had originally been meant for the the first Sunday of Pentecost but reality intruded – again! It was brought back to my consciousness by the master physical therapist and healer, Ming Chew. I have to search through my old posts but I think I wrote about Ming Chew a couple of years ago when I tore the quadriceps tendon of my right knee. Instead of traditional PT, I went to Ming for a couple of painful sessions. I gained mobility and, more importantly, I gained the confidence to take responsibility for the rest of my rehab.

Well, it was now it was my right shoulder that was giving me problems – so it was back to Ming. One of the first things he did was to pull out a plastic doll that had a bunch of different colored lines on it. Now, I’ve been around this “complementary medicine” thing for a while, so I knew the lines represented acupuncture meridians. This was a “Tong Ren” doll. This was new to me. Ming explained that this was another technique in energy medicine that worked “remotely” with lasers, needles, or a magnetic hammer. A muscle test after the Tong Ren treatment showed that my shoulder was stronger. The power of suggestion? Perhaps. As a Reiki master who has done remote emotional healing, I believe otherwise. Placebo effect or something else, the effect improved the quality of my life.

One of the nice things about my new existence as a trainer and transformation coach is that I can talk about these things without worrying about how they sound to buttoned-down bean counters. Tong Ren, Reiki, Therapeutic Touch, hypnosis, Emotional Freedom Technique, the Release Technique, or the gifts of the Pentecost (Mark 16:15-18), I’m working with them all!

Limiting Beliefs
I’m going to end this post with an NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) technique that will help you deal with any belief that have held you back from your true potential.

We structure our experience in different ways. We delete, distort, and generalize in order to organize the barrage of stimuli that seek our attention. We create filters and maps of the world that become self-fulfilling and self-reinforcing. We eventually only allow in information that conform with the beliefs we have developed. These beliefs and filters sometimes get in the way of our “path.”

Submodalities are the way we record our experiences – the building blocks. We experience the world through our five senses. Submodalities are the details and the “control knobs” of our sensory experience. Our memories are recorded as pictures. When you are looking at the pictures of your memories you can change things like the brightness, the focus, the color, and the movement of the pictures. When you think back on something you can change the feelings associated with the memory by noticing its location in your body, moving it around, changing its weight, pressure, or size, etc. We all have memories of conversations that haven’t gone well. The memory of these conversations have a certain volume, rate, pitch, rhythm.

Exercise
Here is an exercise with submodalities that will help you gain better control of your beliefs:

  • Think about a belief that you currently have that you would like to change (e.g. – “I’ll never lose this weight.”),  This is called a “limiting belief.”
  • Think about something you used to believe but that you now believe is not true (e.g. – Santa Claus brings the Christmas gifts).
  • When you access this thought/memory of the thing you no longer believe- what submodalities (like position, color, sound, pitch, weight, etc. like the ones I mentioned above) are associated with this?
  • Make a picture of the limiting belief and substitute the submodalities of the thing you used to believe.

Notice how you feel about the formerly limiting belief.  If you want to play further, bring up an empowering belief.  Notice the submodalities and put these in the picture  of the former limiting belief.  Things at this point should have changed.

Let me know how this worked for you or if you have any questions about the process.

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No Comments by Hans Hageman on June 21, 2010
filed in belief, education, energy

Calm Nerves And Exercise

calm workout

When we workout, most of us don’t usually think about calm nerves as one of the goals for the session. We go to a gym or health club with a sound system or put on a IPod. The playlist, more often than not, has a powerful and simple rhythmic ( and not always melodic) structure. Heavy metal and rap figure prominently on the music menu. We feel motivated, our hearts start racing, and the adrenaline starts to flow but… are these the things we want happening? I contend that we need to go a different route for more of our workouts.

Things Your Mother Didn’t Tell You About The Autonomic Nervous System
The Autonomic Nervous System (“ANS”) regulates the functioning of organs and muscles. It’s divided into the sympathetic, parasympathetic, and enteric systems. I will focus on the first two.
Sympathetic
When we’re in a situation of “fight or flight” this system causes our digestion to slow down, and our heart rate and blood pressure to increase. We also increase our production of cortisol and adrenaline. This system obviously played and plays a critical role in our survival but the chronic production of these effects ends up being too much of a good thing. That music that you want pumped up as you go for the big lift or an extra mile will eventually play a role in things like hypertension, suppression of our immune system, and Type 2 diabetes.

Our bodies do a pretty good job of recognizing emergency and danger. Artificially adding to this stimulation with our choice of workout music (on top of job and family stress) is not something we should be doing.
Parasympathetic
The parasympathetic system helps us to rest and digest. Energy is saved, blood pressure decreases, and digestion begins. Classical music and, more specifically Baroque music (with its 60 beats per minute – like the human heart) gives us the ability to more easily access or remain in the parasympathetic state. Baroque music has been studied for its “Mozart effect” and its healing abilities. It stands to reason that it would have a beneficial effect in what would otherwise be an adrenaline dump of an activity. It makes sense to me that if we exercise in as close to a parasympathetic state as possible, using music and awareness, then we are better training our bodies for a more healthful reaction for times of stress that are not life threatening. Make the substitution on your IPod a couple of times a week and see what happens.

Why a post like this? Because I love you.

Are you willing to give classical music a try during your workout? What do you listen to now? Comment and let me know.

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1 Comment by Hans Hageman on June 18, 2010
filed in education, exercise, health, living, music

Knights of Honor

modern knight

The denigration of females? Tasteless language wrapped up in bad grammar? Just some more misogynist rap? Not exactly. This was part of a “game” played by teen boys at the elite, all-male Landon private school in Maryland. They played a game mimicking a fantasy sports draft that involved the ranking of local girls in terms of sexual desirability. The goal was to have sex parties with points given for sexual conquests. Landon’s group of “young gentlemen” have had a problematic recent history that can be glimpsed in the story link above.

These were no knights of honor. These boys were raised in a school culture that begins in 3rd grade. Who are their fathers? What did their non-participating classmates have to say? Their intent was to prey on local girls. I read one news story that took the view that “boys will be boys” and that they were just a little immature and foolish to publish this stuff in an age of omnipresent Internet scrutiny.

It seems to me that this was more likely a story of familial narcissism and entitlement. It was a perversion of the daring, competitiveness, and energy that are a part of healthy male energy. How does this happen? Sports performance coaches talk about “sensitive periods” in athletic development for young people. This has to do with the pace of development of a young person’s particular motor abilities (e.g. balance, endurance, speed, strength).

These sensitive periods are also present in the emotional development of adolescent males. Fathers and other responsible adult males are supposed to help induct these young men into the masculine fraternity. In my perfect world, young men would be a combination of William Wallace (you know, Braveheart) and Gandhi. If boys this age aren’t guided through the minefield of puberty, they will end up locked into a cage of greed, materialism, selfishness, sexism, and aggression. Money and status often provide more of an impetus towards these things than an inoculation against them.

My wife and I have our own set of instructions and parenting process for our daughters should they come across young piglets from whatever race or class. That may be the topic of another post.

I was watching “City of Joy” with my 9 year-old son the day after I read about these Landon boys. This a movie about a victimized Dalit community in India and an American doctor (played by Patrick Swayze) trying to find himself. I explained to my son his role and path to becoming a modern day knight. I explained that it would require mental, spiritual, and physical skills and toughness. I told him that I expect him to ALWAYS be the first to stand up to bullies. Some may find my view of man as protector and knight as sexist in its own way but I do not apologize for this. I have also made it clear to my girls that they should rely on themselves for their personal safety.

Bottom line, there are shepherds, sheepdogs, and wolves. Maybe boys will be boys but we shouldn’t ignore the bad fruit that will be harvested if we don’t pay more attention.

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No Comments by Hans Hageman on June 13, 2010
filed in boys, bullies, education, ethics and morality, men education, private school, society, teenagers
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